This is a strange strange thing, taking photographs of your flaws and posting them on the internet for everyone to see. You see, I have spent many a year trying my best to hide what I am willingly putting up today.
You hide it by de-tagging the 'fat' pictures on Facebook, and by shopping for clothes that aren't too tight, but aren't too loose, that maybe are a little forgiving in those certain areas (or completely forgiving). So all these years, instead of making a change with my diet and fitness routine, I adapted these other aspects and tried to pretend that it wasn't a big deal, that I was fine with it. I slowly shopped for bigger and bigger clothes (the sizes are different in Asia... right?) - but at some point, it needed to stop (like now, for example).
Along the way, I've tried to make rules for myself, but without even thinking (or with a little bit of thinking, and almost immediately forgetting / deciding I didn't care), I would grab the cookie, the cake, the chocolate bar, the can of pop, etc etc etc. I would (somewhat) happily eat or drink with abandon, not worrying about the consequences, because whatever I felt in the moment was what I wanted. I liked the feeling of instant gratification, and didn't really consider the long term implications (like one of Patrick's blogs said… it's a lot of little happy moments, but then generally being unhappy throughout the rest of the day). Of course, it's a tricky, vicious cycle… you feel a little down, so you grab a cookie, then you feel better, so you grab another one. But then you feel bad about eating two cookies, but boy you'd probably feel better if you just maybe just one more. Hahaha - it's the most non-sensical thing, but food can be tricky like that.
I'm not too worried about the fitness routine, and actually am looking forward to the challenge, and to having a prescribed set of things to do every day. I'm currently training for my second marathon (I ran the San Francisco marathon last summer, and am planning on running the NYC marathon in November of this year), so this will be great to go along with my training runs. When I go to the gym, I often do the same 4 or 5 activities, so I'm excited to change it up and to get skipping. I'm excited to get better at skipping. What I am more concerned about is the food… I'm definitely snacker, and while I actually do really enjoy vegetables and healthy food, I also enjoy eating out, and going out drinking with friends.
So, I know throughout this process, that's what I am going to have to focus on, and I know it's not going to be easy. I have recently moved to a new city (I moved to Hong Kong from NYC), and a lot of my socializing revolves around eating and drinking. I guess it's time to break out the sober dance moves! Wooooo!!! :)
Anyway, it's my first blogging experience, and first time to try anything official like this, so hoping that the embarrassment of putting up less-than-flattering pics, along with the support of the group will help get me through (and take care of those love handles… where did they come from btw?!?). Looking forward to the next 89 days and beyond!
Cheers,
Nic
Are you supposed to sign your blogs? How does this work, anyway? :)
(Ewww, ewww, ewww):
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